Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Can I color on your dick again?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
