So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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