i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
