Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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