SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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