In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
