Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
