i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
