I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
