why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
we're so committed to being not committed
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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