where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
