whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
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