That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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