idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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