Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
