There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
