yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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