kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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