I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
