New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
