My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
