do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
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Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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