i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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