sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
