i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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