Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think i peed on brittanys purse
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
