I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
ok first of all what the fuck
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
