i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
