If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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