WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
