So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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