Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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