all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
