did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
