Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
