New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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