she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
