I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize