To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
