Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Two words: nipple clamps
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