i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
