I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He felt like a one man threesome
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
