I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
