For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
