If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
