went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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