where am i from again
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
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Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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