When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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