Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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