i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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