it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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