I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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