My Higher Power is John Stamos
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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