so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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