in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
