I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
