Will you blow on my dice?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
