All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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