it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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