dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
