he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Did I show you my penis last night?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
