uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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